Ta-Da!!!

For some reason, it is much harder to write about the end of cancer than it was to write about the things that were going on during cancer.  I think part of the reason is that it takes a while to sink it that the horrible stuff is really over.  The doctors can tell you it is over, and you believe them, but you don’t immediately start feeling better just because the doctor says you are.  You aren’t even really done with doctor appointments because there are still doctor appointments to be sure you are really getting back to normal and staying well.  I also think that after you go through this long, horrendous battle, you kind of think there is going to be some big hurrah – like Johnny Depp jumping out of a cake (hey a girl can dream can’t she?)  when you are all done, but really it just is over and you kind of feel numb and a little lost about what to do with yourself next.

And actually for me, there is more to come.  I will have reconstructive surgery in the spring because they weren’t able to do it when I had my mastectomy since I was going to to have radiation and that causes a lot of tissue damage.  Basically I am still waiting to be healed enough to have that surgery – and then there will be a third surgery to make everything just right – so there isn’t one real hurrah moment for that either. 

It kind of pisses me off to be honest.  So I have made my own “Ta-Da!” moments here and there.  Tonight is one of those!

Last New Years Eve, I was honestly not sure what the year would hold, and frankly weather I would see this New Years Eve.  But with great doctors, wonderful friends and a kick ass attitude – sure enough, here I am cancer free and packed for a celebration trip to Paris that starts tomorrow. 

TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!  I am ready for a new one!!