Look Good, Feel Better

I had been resisting going to any kind of cancer support group because I had this sense of dread about what it would be like and none of the classes and groups sounded appealing to me.  But Juan and Will had been at an event for the “Look Good, Feel Better” program that the American Cancer Society and the Personal Products Council sponsored and brought me a “swag bag” that was filled with so much great perfume and make up stuff, I decided I would give the program a try – because you get a “swag bag” there and pointers on how to do your make up to hide the signs of illness.  So that sounded pretty good to me – so I signed up and went.

The cosmetologist that did the class was super nice but expressed surprised when I said I still was wearing make up every day.  Apparently most people who get sick just stop doing that.  I don’t understand this at all.  I mean there is nothing wrong with my hands or my face, so why would I not do what I normally do?  Apparently I am not very good at the being sick thing. 

Anyway, she did have some good tips for make up as you get more pale (this is the first time in my life that I haven’t had a tan!)  in general as well as to deal with the dark circles under the eyes, overly flushed cheeks, and other very glamorous signs that you are in chemo.  We were all given a big bag of products to work with that included really nice things like Channel lipstick (make- up therapy!!!) so the idea was that we would all get made up in the class.  Two of us seized this opportunity and had fun with it.  The other woman had just finished her last chemo and had a great attitude about things.  She did not suck.

One woman did not speak a word the entire time she was there.  She was just sullen and sat there staring at the make-up like it was some foreign thing.  The cosmetologist tired to engage her to no avail.  I tried, fun lady tried.  She just sat there. 

But woman number 4 more than made up for her in the “can’t shut the hell up department”.  Apparently #4 is a cosmetologist herself and didn’t need any help, she also decided it was important to stress how much sicker I and the quiet lady would get over time and how horrible surgery and radiation are.  The quiet lady looked like she was about to cry.  I was just getting pissed off at the negative-nelly routine.   #4 also wouldn’t use any of the make up at all and I suspect that she was going to take the bag of stuff home and wrap it up for Christmas gifts.  I am pretty sure she didn’t take a breath the entire 2 hours of the class. 

As we were leaving, the non-sucky lady nodded toward #4 and said – there are a lot of people like her at these cancer classes.  Yep.  That is why I had hesitated to go in the first place.  We agreed that the swag bag was worth it this time, but I won’t be going back (this is the only class with swag bags).  I am sure this kind of group therapy helps some people, but I am clearly not one of them – all it does for me is make me want to cuss groups of people out.  That is not terribly positive, well ok I do like cussing, but really why bring other people into it. 

But I know what the real therapy was – expensive lipstick!!   So next time I am feeling low and like this being sick crap is getting the better of me,  I am just going to go buy myself something at the Channel make up counter…..